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by Azarr
Summary: “Then you’ll be the only bastard left.” L, Light, Near, and Ryuuk. Yaoi - not with Ryuuk, you sick, sad weirdo.


**Disclaimer**:When the lawyers aren't here, it's mine. At all other times, it's the property of Ohba and Obata.

**Rating**: T

**Spoilers**: Nearly all of the series.

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_END_

By Azar-Apocalypse

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Prologue

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_I. All humans, without exception, eventually die._

It's an inevitable thing. Light knows this from the start.

Death is an inevitability for humans, regardless of class, gender, or age.

He has seen it: Otoharada Kurou, Shibuimaru Takuo, and even his grandmother are prime examples.

Scum - that's what the former are: _scum_. Both dead now, to be sure, but they never deserved to live in the first place; whereas his grandmother deserved her life and more. But all three of them died; Otoharada in the company of his hostages, Shibuimaru with his friends, and his grandmother alone. In spite of how they lived, they are all dead.

In the end, everyone is the same.

But...

Regardless of Ryuuk's promise and the rules in the Death Note... Light knows that he is different, because all of these rules apply to humans, but him - he's something _more_.

He is Kira.

He is God.

And God cannot die.

_II. After they die, the place they go to is Mu (nothingness)._

There is no God. L knows this through observation, analysis, and rationalisation: the definitive answer to the question that humanity has been asking for centuries is that there is no God.

There are _gods_, certainly - gods of death and very probably the inverse, as such a thing would only be logical and reasonable - but no one Creator.

It's simply impossible.

And if there is no God, then there is no Heaven; and if there is no Heaven, then there is no Hell.

Life after death? Hardly. Everything that is and ever was L will be lost to the world once he dies, other than the results of his intellect. His soul (if there is such a thing) will disperse into the atmosphere. His body will decompose. And soon, people will forget. Not L the detective, certainly - he's sure that that work will be remembered for some time to come. But L - the letter, the detective...

L is not God. L is not a human.

L is a function; something conceptual; a means to a much larger end; an _idea_.

L is the only truly immortal thing that he has ever known.

And that there is a boy out there, somewhere (or right beside him) - a very _human_ boy - who thinks that _he_ is God; who thinks that _he_ can bring Heaven to Earth...

Well, regardless of the boy's intellect, the idea is laughable.

(And sometimes, when it's much too late at night and the hope in his chest secretly diminishes just a bit more, L - the man - lets it out in a fit of giggles that leaves him shaking.)

_III. Once dead, they can never come back to life._

There are some days - dark days that Near doesn't like to think of - during which he thinks that it would be easier to take Halle's gun from its holster and blow himself into oblivion; or find the razor Mr. Ruvie bought him when he turned sixteen, before it was painfully obvious that he would never need to shave his chin, and take it to his wrist; or rifle through the cabinets in the kitchen and make himself a cocktail out of the rat poison that Gevanni thinks is well-hidden and the absinthe that Commander Rester won't admit to keeping.

And it would be.

Because the original L is dead and staying that way, and God knows (the boy who passes for God in some jurisdictions, anyway) - Near's just not living up to the name as well as he should.

Every time Kira comes calling and the screens in front of Near light up with his predecessor's name, Near's stomach sinks and he is secretly glad that his alias is two letters too late into the alphabet.

L is dead and he is not coming back, and Near will not (_can't_) run in a dead man's shoes - not when they're so big.

But when Kira is finally apprehended...

The glory will be his - _all_ his, because there will be no one left to share it with.

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I'm bored, sick, depressed, and tired. So there.

I've just recently noticed that Light wears loafers. His whole 'bad-boy' persona just went to Hell.


End file.
